THE BLACKOUT
Club Bicéfalo, October 2025, Madrid, Spain
The ritual experience made me feel at home, wrapped in the warmth of the candles
and the presence of those who accompanied me that night.
I lost myself in a deep trance; my hair burned a couple of times
and I didn’t even notice. It felt as if I had crossed an invisible threshold,
entering another state, held by the energy of the people and the space that supported us.
When I began to walk, the bodies around me remained motionless, and I had to brush against them so they would grant me passage.
That cold Halloween night became my own tribute, and intimate welcome to the winter arriving.
The room was saturated with the scent of palo santo, but beyond that protective, purifying smoke, I needed four days to gather my strength again.
Anxiety and nerves tightened my chest at the beginning, and yet, when it was over,
a vast calm almost an emptiness completely enveloped me.
As if that day, I had left a part of myself inside that circle of candles and charcoal. I already know you will come again. I will not fear you. And each year you return, I will face your arrival.
“Each degree the temperature drops is a fragment of my soul that fades away.
To ignite in an instant and extinguish slowly, like the cycle of life: destined to drift little by little into darkness.” — C.E
THE BLACKOUT explores the experience of slowly dissolving into darkness, a journey of transition between the two most intense seasons of the year: from summer to winter. In this shift, darkness envelops me and uncomfortable sensations emerge; my emotional state transforms entirely. In these moments, the symbol of the black hole appears in my mind, and for the first time, I observe it from a distance. Curiously, visiting the dark spaces of my memories drives me to externalize emotions, allowing me to move through this world with a bit more serenity. Every action I perform in The Blackout is a unique ritual.
How can I represent darkness through an action with my body?
My body awakens with heat, and I live my days with great intensity; in winter, I move more slowly because I don’t have the same energy. This entire process of transformation, of oscillating between darkness and light, leads me to reflect on existence and emotional change.
Every year, I experience a new blackout. Reflecting on and bringing visibility to this theme keeps me alert and prepared for the next winter. Perhaps I won’t be able to avoid the shift in mood, but I will know it is coming, allowing me to navigate winter with greater awareness. I believe in the constant transformation of the self; we are always evolving. I choose to believe that each new blackout will be a space to understand myself a little more. I like to think that from now on, I will be a spectator observing the blackout from the outside.